The Petrosebsite

  • So Much for Konstantyn – Vegetable Dread

    By Petros Cowley All that follows is a mysterious story. As ever, I entirely disavow the creation of this ridiculous text. I apologise as many times as you wish me to and following whatever pattern of notes so that you might enjoy a particular song while I’m at it. In fact, I am writing this…

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  • The Kiefer Booth Machine

    By Petros Cowley Be no less excited than last time! Even more! Hurray! Here comes another of my supremely important stories for the spiritual and bodily edification of all mankind! For now, most unfortunately, it is not yet at its completion, but until that evitable moment, it shall be added to at a certain rate.…

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  • How John came out of the Toilet (The worst photograph ever)

    By Petros Cowley The fifth in a sequence of very important stories for the edification of all mankind. What’s this next room? Martin asked Quentin. Quentin said nothing.On the wall by the entrance there hung a panel. What’s this say? Transcendental Photography. By Jasmine Hat. Unusual name. A collection of photographs revealing the hidden aspects…

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  • The Uprising (They’ve got faces on their heads)

    By Petros Cowley Another very important story for the edification of all mankind. (This one really is total rubbish. Crap and inexplicable. A disturbed laziness of idiocy. A true poverty, a pestilence, a curse. I dare you to read it, you fucking coward.) 1.1        It was high tide on the men’s toilet floor. Lord Ethelbert…

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  • The Occupier (How John remained in the toilet)

    By Petros Cowley The third in a sequence of very important stories for the edification of all mankind. Knock! Knock! Knock!             Pete turned and returned upstairs, depositing himself recumbently onto an invertebrate. The flabby thing, with a slow release of bagpiping wind, sank sadly under Pete’s weight; sank sadly until he felt his hip…

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  • Abraham’s Exciting Holiday (François Hollande and the Gambling Sphinx)

    By Petros Cowley The fourth in a sequence of very important stories for the edification of all mankind. ‘Neath scarlet winter dawn draw forth these souls, through sleeping, grit-salted streets, a solemn band o’ men by marvel o’ steel chariot. Deputed o’ the Princes Drive Recycling Centre by wise magi o’ the Warwickshire District Council,…

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  • An Eerie Place (A warning to two more Welshmen)

    By Petros Cowley The second in a sequence of very important stories for the edification of all mankind. … NHS Paramedic’s Incident Report To be completed within 24 hours of the accident/incident Date of incident: 31/10/2010                                                 Time of incident: ~11:00        Name of injured person: Simon Grant                                                                                   Description of incident: We were alerted to a…

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  • Luminaries (They are Bald)

    By Petros Cowley The first in a sequence of very important stories for the edification of mankind. A whiskey dusk poured down over the horizon, bathing the crowns of the birch ahead, their golden leaves. A road of stone ran away before these trees, and the grass before that grew unseasonably green. Little saffron florae…

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